Sausage (UK, 7)

Directed by: Robert Grieves

Written by: Robert Grieves

Sausage is the story of two earnest stallholders who are each passionate about their handmade food. From one side of the town square Arthur sells sausages, and the other side Violet sells baked goods. They've never met face-to-face, but their warmth towards each other is displayed each morning with friendly waves. In this early 20th century community, each has found success and happiness in a role they adore.

One morning, a new vendor drives his shiny van into the square. Arthur and Violet welcome the man with warm smiles, but it is clear that he is not one for pleasantries. On the contrary, Victor is in direct competition and aims to steal every last customer. In his van, Victor pulls a series of levers and buttons bringing forth two impressive machines that churn out over-sized sausages and sparkly donuts. Armed with this grotesque merchandise, Victors attempts to attract the customers. He fails however, as he has underestimated the locals’ appreciation of quality food. But by cutting his prices in half, every last customer discards their high standards and queues at Victors van.

Violet and Arthur are left in shock. Although naive to such competition, each is willing to take on Victor at his own game. Enticing the consumers with free gifts, Violet offers a flower with a pastry, and Arthur a balloon with a sausage, thus winning their customers back. But the war has only just begun, as a hatch in the van opens to reveal an Aladdin's Cave of freebies. The bargain-hungry consumers run to the van once more.

The battle rages on with customers running back and forth in a frenzy of offerings. Arthur's tactile nature leads to him offering free hugs, with Violet joining in and offering massages. But Victor is prepared with a luscious bimbo and mighty hunk waiting in his van for just such an occasion plying kisses all round.

Violet and Arthur realise they must join forces. They perform a juggling act, each utilising their own food produce. But they are outdone as the roof of the van opens to release performing monkeys and a mechanical circus.

Exhausted and emotionally defeated, Violet and Arthur stand beside each other for the first time. They have lost their customers and during the battle lost their integrity too. They bow their heads in shame, but suddenly, in this stance they see something revolutionary. In Arthur’s hand is a sausage, and in Violet’s is half a baguette; both left over from the juggling. For the first time these products are being seen next to each other and inspiration hits. Filled with excitement, Arthur slides his sausage in to Violet’s parted bread to create a blessed union. From each end of this thrilling new combination, they take a bite... The experience is unrivaled.

Quickly they re-market themselves with a new sign, present their creation, and reap the rewards. Instantly the customers’ focus returns from gimmicks to quality as they indulge in a whole new taste sensation.

Victor and his van of tricks have no retaliation prepared for this. All he can think of is to slide a sausage into a donut. Attracting zero interest, he eats his creation to demonstrate its deliciousness. The result is disturbing for Victor and the onlookers!.

With no customers and no solution, Victor reaches peak frustration, pressing every button and pulling every lever again and again. Driven to its limit and with nothing left to give, the van explodes in a huge ball of flames, Victor still inside.

After the astonishment of this spectacle, everyone goes back to their favorite new food, but the explosion has blown out the flames of the grill. With no more delicious sausages cooking, Victor may have had the last laugh. However our heroes has an idea... Everyone in the square moves to where the van had stood. Arthur cooks over the open flames of the burning van; with Violet ensuring every last customer enjoys this revolutionary combination.